So without further ado, meet Mommy Monologuing Kate, fellow Mr. Poopie assailant!
One of the first things I ever read of Laura's was one of her letters to Mr. Poopie. It literally had me laughing out loud--it was a post that only mothers (and fathers) could completely relate to. Although I am not potty training like the Melodramommy Household is, there have been many times that I have been in the middle of something & I’ve smelled something terrible & I just dread opening up that diaper! Well, since Laura has so graciously given me the opportunity to write for her blog today, I thought I would share my own Dear Mr. Poopie letter.
Dear Mr. Poopie,
I appreciate the fact that you are a signal of health for my little boy. I would probably hate you more right now if you were Mr. Constipation. But what I don't appreciate is the stunt you pulled on me today.
Baby Boy was playing gleefully with his Tonka trunks & the dog's chew bone (yuck!) And then I smelled your foul presence & was immediately distracted from my most important blogging house cleaning. Since I hate the thought of my precious child sitting in poopie squalor I immediately started to get rid of you as fast as I could.
As I got the diaper tabs undone I immediately knew that there was going to be trouble--call it motherly instincts. Okay, maybe any non-mommy could have known that there was going to be an issue the minute Baby started twisting, turning, & kicking furiously trying to get free. I thought that I had it under control….Until….
You started calling out like a beacon to Baby's heel, which answered your call with a swift kick into the diaper! Flinging you, Mr. Poopie, 50 feet in every direction with a huge lump of nastiness landing right on Baby's face! At which point, Mr. Poopie, you had me, Mommy, shrieking from disgust. Which scared the crap out of Baby (no pun intended) who in turn started screaming & then he slapped his hands to his face in sheer terror! Yes, Mr. Poopie I know you enjoyed this part--he raked you all over his face, up his nostrils, in his ears, on his chest, his legs, & then on me!
Each & every time I thought I had a handle on you, the more I found you in different crevices, between fingers & toes, & even in hair on his head! Oh my Mr. Poopie, you are a clever one you are. I know you were having a hysterical fit of laughter the more I screamed & fought to get you wiped. I know you were having a blast the more I grabbed at wipes desperately trying to get you off of my hands & off of Baby. You may have won that time, Mr. Poopie, but I will win in the end! It’s called “Potty Trained.” You might win some small (and big) battles during the training process, as Laura, your other nemesis as informed me, but eventually I will win the biggest battle of all! And I will teach Baby to flush you with gusto!
Mr. Poopie: 1 Mommy: 0
Until tomorrow Mr. Poopie,
Mommy—you best beware!
Thanks again Kate for a hilarious post! Go check her out at mommymonologues.com and share the love: leave a comment and vote!
And Mommies, as you start this Mother's Day weekend, with a wipe in one hand and your cell phone ready to dial 911 in the other, be encouraged to know you're not alone in this battle against notorious Mr. Poopie. Stand tall, be persistent, and keep the faith, because we've been entrusted with the greatest task of all--potty training this next generation!
Posted by Laura