April 22, 2010

How Many Miles Mommy Walks a Day: The Answer

So the question is how many miles and steps does a mom of toddlers walk in a day? Let’s think this through: from that moment just after sunrise when the alarm sounds, and yes, I’m referring to a very cute alarm clock that prances in the room with a princess dress, a tiara, and little warm hands that yank at the covers as a sweet voice rings anything from: “I wanna cuddle with you!” or “I leeeeeeaked!” or (to the tune of "Jingle Bells") "Raisin Bran! Raisin Bran! I want Raisin Bran," that is when the mad-race begins.

Let’s review a typical day’s not-so-brief checklist of events:

Dream someone is poking you. But wait, this is no dream! Pry eyes open. Unsuccessfully ask Toddler to go back to sleep. Numerous pokes later ...
Put toddler-girl on the potty. Wipe, get her new pull up or panties. Wash hands!
Get baby boy. Hold breath while changing poopie diaper. Dispose of diaper somewhere far far away out of sight and smell—aka, the garage. Wash hands again!
Bring both children downstairs. Holding toddler girl’s hand and carrying baby boy while counting the steps down.
Brew coffee.
Put boy in high chair and give him a bottle.
Give Toddler girl juice and make and serve breakfast.
Sit on the couch, sip coffee, and stare at the wall (a most important task that is constantly interrupted with numerous requests)
Wash baby boys face and hands.
Clear table.
Wash high chair tray, seat, and crumbs on floor so baby boy doesn’t eat them later.
Unload dishwasher from last night.
Kiss Daddy Goodbye.
Another potty visit for Toddler girl.
Toddler girl requests art time. Get her set up while chasing baby boy around who still walks like Frankenstein but is so much cuter.
Bring both kids upstairs.
Brush teeth of all who have teeth.
Get baby boy dressed for day. Don't forget the hair gel!
Get toddler girl dressed for day. Get the detangling spray!
Chase after Toddler girl who stole the lipgloss.
Get self dressed while chasing baby boy who wants to put his hands around the potty seat or eat plant dirt or touch the TV or pull down the shades or climb the gate … you get the picture.
Oh No. Toddler girl is trying to use potty by herself but was unsuccessful wiping!

Wow, and that’s all before 9:00 A.M.

So fast forward a bit more: 10:30 A.M. Baby boy goes down for nap, while mommy has toddler girl play with playdough as Mommy cooks dinner (this is a new thing I’m trying on my days off from work where I cook dinner in the morning cause I’m waaaaay too exhausted by 5:00 P.M.),

Suddenly, it's time for lunch. Get baby boy. change diaper. Prepare something. serve food. Repeat the meal cycle. oh, yeah! Mommy needs to eat too--but eats standing up while cleaning up the mess from cooking dinner and lunch!

Play with both kids, folded a load of laundry, administer several time outs, chase after baby boy who wants to crawl up the steps, into the cabinets, and eat a book or a shoe or some foreign matter under the couch. Have chat with toddler girl: that yes, we should share; but NO don’t share any cheese with baby boy!

Nap time-only for baby boy. Toddler girl is making lots of requests to play. Mommy encourages her to have quiet time in her room but for some reason Mr. Poopie attempts to make an appearance right around this time. Will a mother ever get to sit down?

Finally a moment of peace. A Moment of free time comes and goes. Oh, it is time for snacks. Yes, let's watch some "Baby Can Read" so mommy can wake up from the nap she never took.

Add a Target run or a short walk to the neighborhood playground.

A bathroom break for mommy, when be careful, the unexpected is bound to happen (a later post shall explain.)

Oh My! Daddy is home! Another adult to talk to!
Have kids greet Daddy in Greek! It makes his day.
Repeat the cycle for Dinner! YAY! Family dinner time is one of Mommy's favorite times of the day!
Clean up a big mess while Daddy plays with kids OR while daddy cleans mess and mommy lays down. Daddy is awesome like that!

Perhaps a stroll to the park or just stay at home playing with kids as a family.

Bath time, Reading time, Bed time!

Mommy and Daddy perform the famous tucking in. Mommy can hear the hallelujah chorus as the children finally drift off to wonderland.

8:00P.M. Mommy looks at a monstrous pile of laundry that gnarls at her from across the family room, but she cannot fathom folding anything right now. She cannot fathom doing anything at all. Mommy is comatose. Daddy is comatose too.

11:00 P.M. And the pedometer reads: 14,881 steps and 7.03 Miles. SEVEN MILES! What, what! Seven Miles! That's a whole lot of walking in diapers, potty training, and mommyland for one day. I've done this now for three consecutive days, nothing out of the ordinary. They are all reading just shy of 15,000 steps! Wow! No wonder this mother be-ith tired.

Working Moms: Aside from working at home in the evenings, I work as a copywriter at the office two days a week. On those days, even though I sit mostly at work in front of a computer writing, it is the hours before and after work that I am pressured to get even more done than a typical day because of all the required preparations for two kids and the house. Thus, today, for example, a day in the office the pedometer read 9,303 steps and 4.39 miles. So working moms, you too should pat yourself on the back cause not only are you working hard all day, but you are getting extreme amount of steps before and after work to do the juggling act you do.

And now, I am reminded of my Italian Grandmother, who after a long day working and then pruning the rose bushes, would collapse in the recliner and gasp a loud bellowing cry, "E'MADONE (that's Italian for Oh, Mother of God) I'M-A DEAD-A!" Yes, dead is how I feel too, Grandma. Good thing like-it-or-not, resurrection comes in the morning.

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Posted by Laura


Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing this! No wonder I'm so exhausted at the end of the day! I can't believe you walked 7 miles! I think I need to go out and get a pedometer. I'm wondering how much the two dogs and a toddler stretches me?

ashley od said...

That's hilarious. I can't believe that you measured it. It's nice to have some way to measure all our hard work!

Unknown said...

So I have a plan - let's get some of those Reebok tone shoes which "promise to shape up that flabby butt with every step" I found a pedometer that Joe got for free. I'm powering that bad boy up next week. :)

Melodramommy said...

Sounds like a great plan Brandi! And, Ashley, you get a pedometer too.

Stephani said...

I love this! There are days that I feel so tired, but feel I haven't accomplished much. I've run up and down the stairs 30 times and down into the basement and then vacuumed! It's endless. Thanks for putting a dialog to our every day business! I enjoyed reading it and look forward to more. ---blog frog reader

Kate Pantier @ Mommy Monologues said...

This is awesome! My mom told me that she read somewhere that if stay-at-home moms were paid an annual salary they would make somewhere around $250,000 for all the different jobs they do around the house!