April 16, 2010

You Might Be a Back-Seat Driver if . . .

It never dawned on me as to how bad of a back-seat driver I have become until my 2YO started back-seat driving. Yes, a toddler exhorting: “Put on your seat belt, Daddy!” and “Slow down, Daddy!” Or “Red Light, Daddy!” Yes, Congratulations, this is the sign that you efficiently back-seat drive!

Perhaps you’ve found yourself OR someone you know guilty of more than one of the following:

1.) You grab your heart and gasp, “God help us!” at least once during a five minute drive to the store.

2.) Your nails, when not digging into your knees, are grasping the handle bar on the door or the bar on the car roof for extra security.

3.) You yelp “Wait!” or “Watch Out” or “Red Light!” periodically throughout each drive.

4.) The driver (in my case husband) tells you “Calm down,” “You’re overreacting,” or “Chill” multiple times per drive.

5.) In warning the driver of the upcoming red light, you try to yell “stop” but instead gibberish comes out: “ut tat tat tut da!” Hey, the important thing is that you got his attention.

6.) When your hands are not glued to the handle bar, they are pointing and gesturing to each stop sign, yellow light, and old man biking in spandex.

7.) You check the blind spots more than he does to the degree that you block his peripheral vision during right and left hand turns.

8.) Your toddlers know how to back-seat drive before they can ride a bike.

9.) Your husband/significant other puts his/her hand on your knee, but NOT as a romantic gesture, but instead to say, “I pray God delivers you from this anxiety.”

10.) Upon reaching the destination, he thinks: “You are the world’s worst back-seat driver!” She thinks, “You really need to learn how to drive!”

Look, don't feel bad about it. Don't live in denial. My husband tells me I excel at back-seat driving. Let's celebrate doing what we do so well.

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Posted by Laura

3 comments:

Diana said...

I backseat drive and my husband wants to duct tape my mouth shut. We tall each other that we are such a wonderful couple until we get in the car. Then it all just goes downhill.
It's just that - if he would drive like me (perfect lol) I would never say anything. :)

Cindy said...

Voted!

Well I really try not to backseat drive, but how can I not, I am married to the real speed racer :)! Yay, my husband makes me hold on when riding with him :)

Melodramommy said...

Thanks! Nice to know I'm not alone : )