Dear Mr. Poopie

March 24, 2010

Dear Mr. Poopie,

I know you must feel ever so proud of yourself the way you brought a surprise attack against me this morning, waiting until AFTER I had already bathed, diapered, olive-oiled, dressed, and put my baby boy down for a nap to disguise yourself as silly putty. I bet you smiled to see him playing with you, rubbing you all over the rails of his crib, his blankee, his teddy bear, his crib sheet, his shirt, his jeans. Perhaps, you even laughed out loud when he mistook you for peanut butter and smeared some near his mouth, his chin, his nose, his cheeks, his hair, his ankles and heels. And, yes, I’ll give you that it was very cleaver teaming up with your friend Mr. Peepee who ever-so-forcefully shot out like a spring rain across the rug and onto my little boy’s dresser mirror for an extra special touch.

Sure, you were successful in getting yourself all over my shirt, my arms, my hands, as I lifted my boy into the bathtub and scrubbed and rinsed him all clean.  You know what, I was going to take a shower anyway! And, I’ll have you know that I happened to enjoy sanitizing the bathroom, his crib, his rug, and his bedroom even if it was the third time this week. Have you forgotten that I’m an Italian neat freak who finds joy in cleaning my home? And, my little boy happened to enjoy his second bath of the day.

So, know this: I have a Clorox wipe and I know how to use it! I may have lost this battle, but I will win the war. I’m going to find out all the best products to bring destruction on your front and tell all my mommy friends about how to best combat you. You’re going down. Be afraid.

Sincerely,

Melodramommy

P.S.—By the way, little-toddler-girl no longer thinks you’re cute. In fact, she’s calling her daddy to come after you, cause when she saw the mess you made this morning, she told me: “Don’t worry Mommy, Daddy will clean it!” She knows her daddy can fix anything.


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Posted by Laura