Top 10 Signs Mommy Needs To Do Laundry

The challenge of folding laundry takes on new meaning when there are little people at your feet who believe “helping” means climbing in the laundry baskets and “folding” means squishing a shirt into a tiny ball as they declare with a grin of accomplishment, “Here, Mommy.” The greatest challenge, however, is that doing laundry is the never-ending task: spend an entire day sorting, washing, drying, folding and putting away clothes ONLY to find with the passing of every hour there are more loads to conquer! And please make sure that disposable diaper doesn’t EVER wander in a load. Thus, are there any reasons why Mommies out there might not find themselves in any number of the following predicaments?

Here are the top 10 signs that Mommy needs to do laundry:

1.) Desperate times mean desperate measures: The only choice of underwear (albeit something that resembles a deflated hot air balloon OR a rubber band) leaves you walking around all day with a wedgie!

2.) Comfort is sacrificed at the door of convenience: Even though your months out from weaning baby, you debate wearing a flapping nursing bra just ignore the now-deflated Madonna-esque protruding cones that enter the room before you do.

4.) Beauty comes second to practicality: You encourage hubby to pull a late-Michael Jackson to the office, wearing the stark white socks with his black pants, because that’s the only choice.

5.) Sharing is no longer optional: You are tempted to put pink socks on baby boy, because that’s what’s available. Besides, pssssst, don’t tell daddy, baby boy has already sported the pink princess pull up a few weeks ago when you ran out of diapers.

6.) Recycling takes on new meaning: No jeans left. Okay, time to pull out those maternity jeans with the yard-long, thick elastic bellyband that makes you appear as though you were ingested by a two-legged octopus.

7.) The Great Osmosis: There are more clothes outside of the dresser drawers and closets than inside.

8.) The Great Invasion: Dirty laundry piles consume almost every room of the house.

9.) The Great Famine: There are not enough laundry baskets or rooms to contain the laundry.

10.) Scarcity Redefined: Finally, the only choice, if you don’t want to wear something with Mr. Poopie, Mr. Booger, or Puke thanks to the munchkins, the only choice is wear nothing at all. Yes, this is the ultimate sign laundry can wait no longer.

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Posted by Laura

You Might Be a Back-Seat Driver if . . .

It never dawned on me as to how bad of a back-seat driver I have become until my 2YO started back-seat driving. Yes, a toddler exhorting: “Put on your seat belt, Daddy!” and “Slow down, Daddy!” Or “Red Light, Daddy!” Yes, Congratulations, this is the sign that you efficiently back-seat drive!

Perhaps you’ve found yourself OR someone you know guilty of more than one of the following:

1.) You grab your heart and gasp, “God help us!” at least once during a five minute drive to the store.

2.) Your nails, when not digging into your knees, are grasping the handle bar on the door or the bar on the car roof for extra security.

3.) You yelp “Wait!” or “Watch Out” or “Red Light!” periodically throughout each drive.

4.) The driver (in my case husband) tells you “Calm down,” “You’re overreacting,” or “Chill” multiple times per drive.

5.) In warning the driver of the upcoming red light, you try to yell “stop” but instead gibberish comes out: “ut tat tat tut da!” Hey, the important thing is that you got his attention.

6.) When your hands are not glued to the handle bar, they are pointing and gesturing to each stop sign, yellow light, and old man biking in spandex.

7.) You check the blind spots more than he does to the degree that you block his peripheral vision during right and left hand turns.

8.) Your toddlers know how to back-seat drive before they can ride a bike.

9.) Your husband/significant other puts his/her hand on your knee, but NOT as a romantic gesture, but instead to say, “I pray God delivers you from this anxiety.”

10.) Upon reaching the destination, he thinks: “You are the world’s worst back-seat driver!” She thinks, “You really need to learn how to drive!”

Look, don't feel bad about it. Don't live in denial. My husband tells me I excel at back-seat driving. Let's celebrate doing what we do so well.

Don’t forget to vote for me in the top mommy blogs by clicking to the right of this post! We’re # 2 in the humor category!

Oh, and don't forget to enter the thirty-one-gifts giveaway for your chance to win an awesome monogrammed purse for mother's day.

Posted by Laura

Mommy is Sleep Deprived when . . .

Let's face it, sleep is a luxury of the past in the day and life of a mom with little ones.  Perhaps the following sounds familiar. Here are some of the things I found myself doing over the past year. 

Mommy is sleep deprived when . . . 

1.)   Even though you set your alarm so loud it can be heard across the entire house, it fails to wake you; but of course, while it is sounding you dream that you are trying to turn it off again and again and conclude that it must be broken.

2.)   When you wake up, thanks to toddler poking you in the face OR baby screaming, you have no idea what time, day, or calendar year it is.

3.)   In that moment, you wonder if your baby or toddler has a snooze button.

4.)   You think, If only I could pay my children to sleep in.

5.)   Oh how you need that cup of coffee! If only you were paying attention you wouldn’t have ruined it by pouring the orange juice in it instead of the milk.

6.)   While serving breakfast, you give 2YO the baby’s bottle and baby the French toast. What’s wrong with this picture you wonder.

7.)   Before loading everyone into the car, you rush up the stairs to get something; but can’t remember what it is by the time you get there! You of course remember as your about to drive away … your cell phone!

8.)   Okay so this is definitely a morning that calls for more coffee on the run, so you pull to the drive through window but are confused at why the woman is looking at you funny and won’t hand it over. Oh, you forgot to pay first.

9.)   You forget to put a diaper on your NON potty trained toddler but don’t discover this mistake until pee has soaked half the car seat.

10.)                  Finally, all are loaded into the stroller, you’re ready for your big adventure out--be it going to work, or the store, or the doctor, when you look down and realize you’re still wearing your bathrobe!

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Posted by Laura