Divided Poopies Don't Equal Multiplied Rewards

Dear Mr. Gummy Bear a.k.a. “Potty Tweet”

Yeah, you with the sugar-glazed, missing eyeball stare who has recently taken a residence in my black kitchen canister. I’m writing to inform you of this eviction notice: you have 1 day to leave the premises before I dump you in the toilet to swirl around with your friend, my foe, Mr. Poopie. That’s right, I am now well aware that you have been conspiring against me, as evident by the fact that you have violated our agreement by failing to make potty training easier:

1.) Inflation: First, you convince my 2YO that 1 gummy bear is not enough and that 3 treats are necessary for a reward. Until I finally give her 2 gummy bears and then you raise the demands to 5! Five?????? Are you out of your jelly-licking mind!

2.) Since I refused to increase the number of rewards per potty visit, you convince my innocent and naïve 2YO that the next best thing would increase the frequency of potty visits by instead of doing one simple poopie in the potty, break up the poopie into fractions, thus turning what should have been one potty visit into seven trips! How many times can a Mother wipe her toddler’s bottom and wash her hands and repeat the process, all while curious 1YO is at her feet eager to explore the potty rim! Yes, I know Mr. Poopie gave you this idea because it would multiply his numbers and yours. But you remember this: divided poopies will never multiply potty rewards cause Melodramommy don’t like math!

3.) It really bothers me that when I talk to you, you fail to make eye contact with me. I don’t care that you don’t have a face. It’s just plain rude.

4.) This article and the fact that stickers are more fun anyway!

Your compliance with this notice within 1 day after its service will prevent any further eviction action against you.


YOU ARE BEING TOLD TO LEAVE THE PREMISES. IF YOU DO NOT LEAVE, AN EVICTION ACTION WILL BE INITIATED AGAINST YOU. IF YOU ARE IN DOUBT REGARDING YOUR GUMMY RIGHTS AND OBLIGATIONS AS A POTTY REWARD, IT IS NOT RECOMMENDED THAT YOU SEEK MR. POOPIE'S ASSISTANCE BECAUSE HE'S GOING DOWN THE POTTY AND SO WILL YOU IF YOU DON'T HEED THIS NOTICE.

Sincerely,

Melodramommy
Dated this 7TH day of April 2010

What do you use as a potty reward? And what do you or don't you recommend?

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Posted By Laura