Trapped in the Mommy Zone: Confessions of a Working Mom

It was an interesting day at the office: my diaper bag (laptop carrier) exploded. The copy machine malfunctioned. I found myself attempting to speak in code to my husband by spelling in front of adults who can spell! That’s of course after finding myself speaking to clients in not so cute toddlerease. Woops.

Sometimes it’s hard shifting gears from the home to office. Sometimes even though I’m away from my kids my mind is trapped in the Mommy zone! Let’s go through the list of embarrassing moments that I’m sure many working moms have experienced at one point or another.

You Know You’re Trapped in the Mommy Zone When . . .

1.) Your diaper bag also functions as a laptop carrier, briefcase, lunch box, makeup bag, and finally, after jamming in every last necessity, the lip-gloss, the hand sanitizer, the wipes, a change of clothes for baby boy, the animal crackers, it explodes in the car! Of course there is no time to run in the house and get a new bag, so what do you do? You carry this massive “briefcase” all day long as though it were a clutch on steroids.

2.) You nearly get pulled over while on the way to work because there was barely enough time to get dressed let alone drink coffee and you are now just plain delirious. You wonder if there is such a thing as a DWC? Driving without Caffeine.

3.) After dropping off the kids and driving to work, you’re is still listening to that horrendous CD of nursery rhymes that toddler requests to hear on repeat, until you realize: I can have quiet now. Why am I still listening to this!

4.) At the office your once sophisticated vocabulary now takes on an unprofessional and completely inappropriate cutesy baby talk. At random points throughout the day, you unintentionally begin talking to your co-workers/employees as though they were your dear 2YO at home, saying things like: “Excuse me while I go do peepee in the potty!” or “Oopsie-daisey! The copy machine is jammed again!” Or “The client canceled; how stinkey-winkey!” Of course your mouth drops in horror as these words are coming out of your mouth. But it is too late. You sound like an idiot.

5.) You felt so good about that nice blouse (especially since it took you all morning to find one that fit), until mid day, after several meetings, a well-meaning client tells you a bird has crapped on your shirt. You run to the “potty” to check it out only to discover it was no bird but your own baby who secretly vurped a clumpy loogie down your shoulder! After composing your embarrassed self, you return to your meeting, pretending not to be utterly humiliated and attempt cursing those “darn birds!”—but it’s not even that cool, because you’re still in the mommy zone and even though you say it in a dramatic angry tone, the words that come out of your mouth are more like: “Those silly-billy-gumdrop birds!”

But at the end of the day, driving back to pick up the kids and head home, you realize whether you’re staying at home or out at the office, every job has its moments. Some are embarrassing. Exhausting. Happy. Horrible. Hilarious. And some are just plain wonderful. Like when finally, you go to the door to pick up your kids and there are the two biggest smiles you’ve ever seen saying, “Mamma! Mamma! I missed you!” Yup, every job has its moments.

What are your Mommy Zone moments?

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Posted by Laura