I was only on the road two minutes from home when I spotted those fear-inducing flashing blue lights from behind. “Oh, God, please have mercy! Please, please, please, pleeeeeease, help!” I yelp much like a guilty Chihuahua squeaking at its master’s feet, seeking forgiveness for messing on the new white couch. But there came that officer marching right up to my car window with frowning eyes that spoke, you’re in deep, sky-high doodoo.
“Do you know why I pulled you over?” He asks in a tone—you know, that condescending tone that reminds you of getting pulled into the principal’s office in grade school. That daunting question was surely as loaded and ready to fire as the officer’s gun. Answer wrong, and you’re in trouble; answer right, you’re still in trouble. Big trouble to say the least.
“How fast was I going?” I ask, the lump in my throat pulsating out of my neck.
“You were going 60 in a 45. That’s on top of cutting me off, failing to fully stop at the stop sign, and not signaling!”
You hand over your license with trembling slippery fingers. That’s when you can’t control the palpating heartbeat and potentially onset of cardiac arrest. You debate if you should call 911 and quite frankly, you would if the operator could guarantee NOT to send this officer who just snatched your license away. As he walks away to the patrol car to determine your fate, you stutter, “I’m soooorry. I don’t have any other tickets on my record.” Did he even hear you and does it even matter? He didn’t look impressed—well, at least the back of his head didn’t—that’s all you saw.
And then comes the painful two-minute period of waiting and waiting. And waiting some more. Those eternal two minutes where the officer has your license and you’re almost hyperventilating, almost needing a change of clothes because of almost peeing in your pants and sweating so profusely that your shirt is soaked—well, almost.
What will he say? How many points will this one be! Why is he taking so long! Wait, did I remember hearing that if you speed 15 over they will revoke your license? Or is it 20 over? Oh, the court bill! Lawyer fees! The insurance increase! And please, toddler girl, please just be quiet right now as mommy is having a moment here. Yes, Mommy was going to fast.
And then you also think, why wasn’t anyone back-seat driving for me! I mean really, to think of all those times I have so graciously lended my driving skills to help a friend and spare them the same predicaments. Get behind the wheel; you’re on your own. Well almost.
That’s when I prayed even harder if you can call begging a prayer. It was more like, “mercy, mercy, mercy, mercy, mercy. Please give it. I need some mercy.” But if faith the size of a mustard seed can move a mountain, could my microscopic-is-it-even-there faith to be helped even move a piece of gravel. THIS mistake, the mistake of speeding and cutting off an officer, this is not one you get out of. THIS was a mistake I deserved a ticket for, so much more so the fact that there are children in the car. I mean really. I’m usually the driving-Miss-Daisy kind of chauffer: smooth sailing, careful navigation, slower than necessary speeds—well, at least that’s how I describe it. But, I guess everyone has his/her moments. Why did mine have to happen in front of a police officer!
So then I see the officer in my mirror walking back to the car. By this point, I’m wishing I really was hyperventilating or crying—I mean let there be some kind of physical manifestation to stir up his compassion. Instead I have a big ole zit on my chin to greet him in the window, frizzy hair (as I explained earlier it was either make-up or hair today not both), and a scratchy stuttering voice that tells him of my lack of tickets as he’s walking away. Where are some good tears when you really need them! They will of course only appear after he hands me a big ticket!
Well, that’s when the UNTHINKABLE happens. He walks up to the window, hands me my license and says, have a nice day. WHAT? WHAT! Really! He decided to give me a warning. That’s when Melodramommy realizes she needs a shovel to scrape her jaw off the car floor so she can drive away and be thankful. That’s when Mommy can’t help rolling down the windows and yelling, “Thank you Jeeeeeeesus!” but this time only driving 44 miles an hour. That’s when Mommy herself needs a diaper change!
Don't forget to vote, top right of this post.
Posted by Laura
April 29, 2010
April 28, 2010
Every Parent's Dream: On Cleaning
As an Italian neat freak who loves the sparkle and shine of a clean house but fails to keep up with laundry, this is what I dream about ...
What do you dream about?
Thanks for voting for me 1x per day by clicking to the right of this post.
Posted by Laura
What do you dream about?
Thanks for voting for me 1x per day by clicking to the right of this post.
Posted by Laura
April 27, 2010
Top 10 Signs Mommy Needs To Do Laundry
The challenge of folding laundry takes on new meaning when there are little people at your feet who believe “helping” means climbing in the laundry baskets and “folding” means squishing a shirt into a tiny ball as they declare with a grin of accomplishment, “Here, Mommy.” The greatest challenge, however, is that doing laundry is the never-ending task: spend an entire day sorting, washing, drying, folding and putting away clothes ONLY to find with the passing of every hour there are more loads to conquer! And please make sure that disposable diaper doesn’t EVER wander in a load. Thus, are there any reasons why Mommies out there might not find themselves in any number of the following predicaments?
Here are the top 10 signs that Mommy needs to do laundry:
1.) Desperate times mean desperate measures: The only choice of underwear (albeit something that resembles a deflated hot air balloon OR a rubber band) leaves you walking around all day with a wedgie!
2.) Comfort is sacrificed at the door of convenience: Even though your months out from weaning baby, you debate wearing a flapping nursing bra just ignore the now-deflated Madonna-esque protruding cones that enter the room before you do.
4.) Beauty comes second to practicality: You encourage hubby to pull a late-Michael Jackson to the office, wearing the stark white socks with his black pants, because that’s the only choice.
5.) Sharing is no longer optional: You are tempted to put pink socks on baby boy, because that’s what’s available. Besides, pssssst, don’t tell daddy, baby boy has already sported the pink princess pull up a few weeks ago when you ran out of diapers.
6.) Recycling takes on new meaning: No jeans left. Okay, time to pull out those maternity jeans with the yard-long, thick elastic bellyband that makes you appear as though you were ingested by a two-legged octopus.
7.) The Great Osmosis: There are more clothes outside of the dresser drawers and closets than inside.
8.) The Great Invasion: Dirty laundry piles consume almost every room of the house.
9.) The Great Famine: There are not enough laundry baskets or rooms to contain the laundry.
10.) Scarcity Redefined: Finally, the only choice, if you don’t want to wear something with Mr. Poopie, Mr. Booger, or Puke thanks to the munchkins, the only choice is wear nothing at all. Yes, this is the ultimate sign laundry can wait no longer.
Thanks for your continued support by voting for me at the top right of this post in the Top Mommy Blogs. We are #2 in Humor and a few votes shy of being in the top 25 overall : ) Keep ‘em coming.
Posted by Laura
Here are the top 10 signs that Mommy needs to do laundry:
1.) Desperate times mean desperate measures: The only choice of underwear (albeit something that resembles a deflated hot air balloon OR a rubber band) leaves you walking around all day with a wedgie!
2.) Comfort is sacrificed at the door of convenience: Even though your months out from weaning baby, you debate wearing a flapping nursing bra just ignore the now-deflated Madonna-esque protruding cones that enter the room before you do.
4.) Beauty comes second to practicality: You encourage hubby to pull a late-Michael Jackson to the office, wearing the stark white socks with his black pants, because that’s the only choice.
5.) Sharing is no longer optional: You are tempted to put pink socks on baby boy, because that’s what’s available. Besides, pssssst, don’t tell daddy, baby boy has already sported the pink princess pull up a few weeks ago when you ran out of diapers.
6.) Recycling takes on new meaning: No jeans left. Okay, time to pull out those maternity jeans with the yard-long, thick elastic bellyband that makes you appear as though you were ingested by a two-legged octopus.
7.) The Great Osmosis: There are more clothes outside of the dresser drawers and closets than inside.
8.) The Great Invasion: Dirty laundry piles consume almost every room of the house.
9.) The Great Famine: There are not enough laundry baskets or rooms to contain the laundry.
10.) Scarcity Redefined: Finally, the only choice, if you don’t want to wear something with Mr. Poopie, Mr. Booger, or Puke thanks to the munchkins, the only choice is wear nothing at all. Yes, this is the ultimate sign laundry can wait no longer.
Thanks for your continued support by voting for me at the top right of this post in the Top Mommy Blogs. We are #2 in Humor and a few votes shy of being in the top 25 overall : ) Keep ‘em coming.
Posted by Laura
April 26, 2010
How to Clean Disposable Diaper Disaster in the Washing Machine: Attack of the Jelly Monster!
Diapers were NOT meant to be washed! No, I’m not talking about cloth diapering. In fact, you cloth-diapering Mommies are my heroes at the moment, in which case this post might be the article you want to read to encourage yourself on why you made the right decision in cloth diapering. The diapers I am talking about are the plastic type that appear flat, lifeless, and ordinary UNTIL the day arrives when that disposable diaper meanders its merry way into the washing machine for a joy ride where it can finally take that gluttonous deep drink of fresh water until it explodes millions of jelly beads into every nook and cranny, wrinkle and crevice, pocket and fold of your entire load of laundry! And then that blobby jelly monster, who you never knew was inhabitating your child’s diaper, finally manifests and waits there to behold mommy’s look of horror and shock when she lifts open the washing machine lid.
SO the question is how do we clean such a disaster?
Let me tell you what NOT to do:
1.) Do NOT try to rewash the load, as I did. Those resilient jelly beads aren’t going anywhere no matter how hot you try to melt them.
2.) Do NOT try shaking out the laundry in the laundry room. One seemingly innocent white sock might just be hosting tons of microscopic diaper beads. You won’t notice this until you shake it out and later discover jelly in your hair, shoulders, shirt, slippers … and you look like it rained caviar in your hair.
3.) Do NOT Scream! You’ll wake the babies. Besides, there is a solution.
Let me tell you what I did which WORKED!
1.) Went outside, shook each individual piece of laundry out, both inside out and on both sides, rewashed it, dried it and it turned out fine. As a warning, shaking the laundry will result in little beads going everywhere. You may want to wear a mask. I am only thinking that diaper beads that are flying everywhere cannot be healthy to inhale. Thus, the mask idea. Yes, I error on being psychotically careful. Yes, this was extremely time consuming and I hope to NEVER make this mistake again.
Let’s ask the Experts!
But, now I am curious, do the diaper companies have any advice to give? After all they are the ones who have created those beads in the first place. Let’s see what they have to say. Well, I just contacted the two big diaper dogs out there: Pampers and Huggies. Both were kind and reassuring that this type of disaster happens very often. Phew, breathe. So I’m not a total freak. But, they both gave slightly DIFFERENT advice.
According to Pampers Customer Service: (800-726-7377)
1.) Put load of laundry into the dryer as is (with the jelly beads).
2.) Drying laundry will cause gel to bead up and fall off clothing; most beads will collect in lint filter.
3.) You may need to dry laundry longer than usual to collect beads
4.) When laundry is dry shake it outside
5.) To clean the washing machine, simply use rinse cycle and wipe inside of washing machine
According to Huggies Diapers customer service: (888-525-8388)
The Huggies representative said that this happens so often she usually gets at least one call a day with this question. She also reassured me that this should not hurt the machine in any way. I asked her if this information was on the company website, because I had trouble finding it. She said there was information under the Pull-ups section, and that she would put in a request to have it under the diaper section as well.
1.) Take wet load outside and shake it out
2.) Break up laundry into smaller loads and rewash.
3.) Dry as usual.
Well, I hope this information helps other parents out there who have made the same mistake. Collectively, we will defeat that jelly monster and have clean clothes and dry diapers once again. This is all the more reason why I am looking forward to having both kids potty trained! Then we can put the Mr. Poopies, Jelly Monsters, Mr. Gummy Bears, and Mr. Boogers to rest; ironically, by that time the kids will be off in college and I would do anything to relive any one of these day all over again.
If you share this experience, or found this advice helpful, OR have any better solutions, please let me know.
Keep voting for me in the top mommy blogs to the right of this post. We’re #2 in humor.
Posted by Laura
SO the question is how do we clean such a disaster?
Let me tell you what NOT to do:
1.) Do NOT try to rewash the load, as I did. Those resilient jelly beads aren’t going anywhere no matter how hot you try to melt them.
2.) Do NOT try shaking out the laundry in the laundry room. One seemingly innocent white sock might just be hosting tons of microscopic diaper beads. You won’t notice this until you shake it out and later discover jelly in your hair, shoulders, shirt, slippers … and you look like it rained caviar in your hair.
3.) Do NOT Scream! You’ll wake the babies. Besides, there is a solution.
Let me tell you what I did which WORKED!
1.) Went outside, shook each individual piece of laundry out, both inside out and on both sides, rewashed it, dried it and it turned out fine. As a warning, shaking the laundry will result in little beads going everywhere. You may want to wear a mask. I am only thinking that diaper beads that are flying everywhere cannot be healthy to inhale. Thus, the mask idea. Yes, I error on being psychotically careful. Yes, this was extremely time consuming and I hope to NEVER make this mistake again.
Let’s ask the Experts!
But, now I am curious, do the diaper companies have any advice to give? After all they are the ones who have created those beads in the first place. Let’s see what they have to say. Well, I just contacted the two big diaper dogs out there: Pampers and Huggies. Both were kind and reassuring that this type of disaster happens very often. Phew, breathe. So I’m not a total freak. But, they both gave slightly DIFFERENT advice.
According to Pampers Customer Service: (800-726-7377)
1.) Put load of laundry into the dryer as is (with the jelly beads).
2.) Drying laundry will cause gel to bead up and fall off clothing; most beads will collect in lint filter.
3.) You may need to dry laundry longer than usual to collect beads
4.) When laundry is dry shake it outside
5.) To clean the washing machine, simply use rinse cycle and wipe inside of washing machine
According to Huggies Diapers customer service: (888-525-8388)
The Huggies representative said that this happens so often she usually gets at least one call a day with this question. She also reassured me that this should not hurt the machine in any way. I asked her if this information was on the company website, because I had trouble finding it. She said there was information under the Pull-ups section, and that she would put in a request to have it under the diaper section as well.
1.) Take wet load outside and shake it out
2.) Break up laundry into smaller loads and rewash.
3.) Dry as usual.
Well, I hope this information helps other parents out there who have made the same mistake. Collectively, we will defeat that jelly monster and have clean clothes and dry diapers once again. This is all the more reason why I am looking forward to having both kids potty trained! Then we can put the Mr. Poopies, Jelly Monsters, Mr. Gummy Bears, and Mr. Boogers to rest; ironically, by that time the kids will be off in college and I would do anything to relive any one of these day all over again.
If you share this experience, or found this advice helpful, OR have any better solutions, please let me know.
Keep voting for me in the top mommy blogs to the right of this post. We’re #2 in humor.
Posted by Laura
April 25, 2010
The Face Only A Toddler Could Love
So there I am enjoying a moment snuggling next to Toddler girl when she turns to me and says, “I weally like your pencil, Mommy!”
“Pencil?” I think to myself, “Pencil?!?!?!?!?!?” There are no pencils or pens in sight.
“What pencil?” I politely ask.
“Your pencil,” she says matter-of-factly.
“Pencil?—I’m not sure I understand, sweetheart.”
And that is when she kindly points to yet another emerging zit on my chin!
“Oh, you mean, pimple!” I say, internally rolling my eyes. How many times now are people in my life going to point out a zit on my face! I mean come on now! As if it didn’t already greet me and mock me in the mirror throwing me an unwanted monthly surprise party!
“Ooooooh! PIMBOL … I weally like your pimbol, Mommy.”
“Thank you. But, you know, they’re not really nice to have.”
“I can touch it, Mommy?” she asks with the greatest enthusiasm as though this thing on my face is a pink balloon up for grabs at a fair.
“NO! You may not touch it.”
“But Mommy … I want to feel it. Is it SOFT? Or HARD?” She zealously asks. Man, this zit must be the most fascinating thing on the planet. Soft or Hard! Where did this child come from!
“I don’t know.” I reply, just hoping to end this conversation already about what must be a protruding mountain on my face!
“When I get older, umm, I wanna pimbol just like you Mommy!” She says with utter glee!
“Oh, thank you so much sweetheart, but really it’s not nice to have a pimple because they are actually a booboo.”
And then as I’m pondering how sweet it is that my little 2YO wants to be just like me even in the ignorance of her not realizing what she’s talking about she replies: “Awwwwwwwe, Mommy. I kiss your booboo!” And before I can shield myself and herself, she pounces her sweet lips right on my face.
Lesson learned: Do NOT tell your 2YO that ANYTHING is a booboo unless you don’t mind a very compassionate kiss from a little person who believes kisses have the power to heal. Yet, isn’t it amazing that the most unwanted things (even those zits on your face) can lead to the sweetest encounters with children. Surely, ONLY MOTHERHOOD, has this magical ability to transform the most egregious situations into humorous, heartfelt exchanges of love—even when you have the face only a 2YO could love.
Have you had any similar experiences?
Thanks for your continued voting for me in the top mommy blogs! We're number 2 in humor. Please vote 1x per day clicking the picture next to this post.
Posted by Laura
April 24, 2010
Purse Giveaway Winner
The winner of the 31-Purse giveaway is Cleo at www.wemmicks-in-training.blogspot.com. Congratualtions Cleo! I used Random.org to select the winner.
Generator
Min: 1
Max: 22
Result:
5
Powered by RANDOM.ORG
Generator
Min: 1
Max: 22
Result:
5
Powered by RANDOM.ORG
April 22, 2010
How Many Miles Mommy Walks a Day: The Answer
So the question is how many miles and steps does a mom of toddlers walk in a day? Let’s think this through: from that moment just after sunrise when the alarm sounds, and yes, I’m referring to a very cute alarm clock that prances in the room with a princess dress, a tiara, and little warm hands that yank at the covers as a sweet voice rings anything from: “I wanna cuddle with you!” or “I leeeeeeaked!” or (to the tune of "Jingle Bells") "Raisin Bran! Raisin Bran! I want Raisin Bran," that is when the mad-race begins.
Let’s review a typical day’s not-so-brief checklist of events:
Dream someone is poking you. But wait, this is no dream! Pry eyes open. Unsuccessfully ask Toddler to go back to sleep. Numerous pokes later ...
Put toddler-girl on the potty. Wipe, get her new pull up or panties. Wash hands!
Get baby boy. Hold breath while changing poopie diaper. Dispose of diaper somewhere far far away out of sight and smell—aka, the garage. Wash hands again!
Bring both children downstairs. Holding toddler girl’s hand and carrying baby boy while counting the steps down.
Brew coffee.
Put boy in high chair and give him a bottle.
Give Toddler girl juice and make and serve breakfast.
Sit on the couch, sip coffee, and stare at the wall (a most important task that is constantly interrupted with numerous requests)
Wash baby boys face and hands.
Clear table.
Wash high chair tray, seat, and crumbs on floor so baby boy doesn’t eat them later.
Unload dishwasher from last night.
Kiss Daddy Goodbye.
Another potty visit for Toddler girl.
Toddler girl requests art time. Get her set up while chasing baby boy around who still walks like Frankenstein but is so much cuter.
Bring both kids upstairs.
Brush teeth of all who have teeth.
Get baby boy dressed for day. Don't forget the hair gel!
Get toddler girl dressed for day. Get the detangling spray!
Chase after Toddler girl who stole the lipgloss.
Get self dressed while chasing baby boy who wants to put his hands around the potty seat or eat plant dirt or touch the TV or pull down the shades or climb the gate … you get the picture.
Oh No. Toddler girl is trying to use potty by herself but was unsuccessful wiping!
Wow, and that’s all before 9:00 A.M.
So fast forward a bit more: 10:30 A.M. Baby boy goes down for nap, while mommy has toddler girl play with playdough as Mommy cooks dinner (this is a new thing I’m trying on my days off from work where I cook dinner in the morning cause I’m waaaaay too exhausted by 5:00 P.M.),
Suddenly, it's time for lunch. Get baby boy. change diaper. Prepare something. serve food. Repeat the meal cycle. oh, yeah! Mommy needs to eat too--but eats standing up while cleaning up the mess from cooking dinner and lunch!
Play with both kids, folded a load of laundry, administer several time outs, chase after baby boy who wants to crawl up the steps, into the cabinets, and eat a book or a shoe or some foreign matter under the couch. Have chat with toddler girl: that yes, we should share; but NO don’t share any cheese with baby boy!
Nap time-only for baby boy. Toddler girl is making lots of requests to play. Mommy encourages her to have quiet time in her room but for some reason Mr. Poopie attempts to make an appearance right around this time. Will a mother ever get to sit down?
Finally a moment of peace. A Moment of free time comes and goes. Oh, it is time for snacks. Yes, let's watch some "Baby Can Read" so mommy can wake up from the nap she never took.
Add a Target run or a short walk to the neighborhood playground.
A bathroom break for mommy, when be careful, the unexpected is bound to happen (a later post shall explain.)
Oh My! Daddy is home! Another adult to talk to!
Have kids greet Daddy in Greek! It makes his day.
Repeat the cycle for Dinner! YAY! Family dinner time is one of Mommy's favorite times of the day!
Clean up a big mess while Daddy plays with kids OR while daddy cleans mess and mommy lays down. Daddy is awesome like that!
Perhaps a stroll to the park or just stay at home playing with kids as a family.
Bath time, Reading time, Bed time!
Mommy and Daddy perform the famous tucking in. Mommy can hear the hallelujah chorus as the children finally drift off to wonderland.
8:00P.M. Mommy looks at a monstrous pile of laundry that gnarls at her from across the family room, but she cannot fathom folding anything right now. She cannot fathom doing anything at all. Mommy is comatose. Daddy is comatose too.
11:00 P.M. And the pedometer reads: 14,881 steps and 7.03 Miles. SEVEN MILES! What, what! Seven Miles! That's a whole lot of walking in diapers, potty training, and mommyland for one day. I've done this now for three consecutive days, nothing out of the ordinary. They are all reading just shy of 15,000 steps! Wow! No wonder this mother be-ith tired.
Working Moms: Aside from working at home in the evenings, I work as a copywriter at the office two days a week. On those days, even though I sit mostly at work in front of a computer writing, it is the hours before and after work that I am pressured to get even more done than a typical day because of all the required preparations for two kids and the house. Thus, today, for example, a day in the office the pedometer read 9,303 steps and 4.39 miles. So working moms, you too should pat yourself on the back cause not only are you working hard all day, but you are getting extreme amount of steps before and after work to do the juggling act you do.
And now, I am reminded of my Italian Grandmother, who after a long day working and then pruning the rose bushes, would collapse in the recliner and gasp a loud bellowing cry, "E'MADONE (that's Italian for Oh, Mother of God) I'M-A DEAD-A!" Yes, dead is how I feel too, Grandma. Good thing like-it-or-not, resurrection comes in the morning.
Please keep the votes coming! You can vote 1x per day by clicking right to this post. We are almost ranked in the top 25 over all in the top mommy blogs and are the #2 humor blog.
Posted by Laura
Let’s review a typical day’s not-so-brief checklist of events:
Dream someone is poking you. But wait, this is no dream! Pry eyes open. Unsuccessfully ask Toddler to go back to sleep. Numerous pokes later ...
Put toddler-girl on the potty. Wipe, get her new pull up or panties. Wash hands!
Get baby boy. Hold breath while changing poopie diaper. Dispose of diaper somewhere far far away out of sight and smell—aka, the garage. Wash hands again!
Bring both children downstairs. Holding toddler girl’s hand and carrying baby boy while counting the steps down.
Brew coffee.
Put boy in high chair and give him a bottle.
Give Toddler girl juice and make and serve breakfast.
Sit on the couch, sip coffee, and stare at the wall (a most important task that is constantly interrupted with numerous requests)
Wash baby boys face and hands.
Clear table.
Wash high chair tray, seat, and crumbs on floor so baby boy doesn’t eat them later.
Unload dishwasher from last night.
Kiss Daddy Goodbye.
Another potty visit for Toddler girl.
Toddler girl requests art time. Get her set up while chasing baby boy around who still walks like Frankenstein but is so much cuter.
Bring both kids upstairs.
Brush teeth of all who have teeth.
Get baby boy dressed for day. Don't forget the hair gel!
Get toddler girl dressed for day. Get the detangling spray!
Chase after Toddler girl who stole the lipgloss.
Get self dressed while chasing baby boy who wants to put his hands around the potty seat or eat plant dirt or touch the TV or pull down the shades or climb the gate … you get the picture.
Oh No. Toddler girl is trying to use potty by herself but was unsuccessful wiping!
Wow, and that’s all before 9:00 A.M.
So fast forward a bit more: 10:30 A.M. Baby boy goes down for nap, while mommy has toddler girl play with playdough as Mommy cooks dinner (this is a new thing I’m trying on my days off from work where I cook dinner in the morning cause I’m waaaaay too exhausted by 5:00 P.M.),
Suddenly, it's time for lunch. Get baby boy. change diaper. Prepare something. serve food. Repeat the meal cycle. oh, yeah! Mommy needs to eat too--but eats standing up while cleaning up the mess from cooking dinner and lunch!
Play with both kids, folded a load of laundry, administer several time outs, chase after baby boy who wants to crawl up the steps, into the cabinets, and eat a book or a shoe or some foreign matter under the couch. Have chat with toddler girl: that yes, we should share; but NO don’t share any cheese with baby boy!
Nap time-only for baby boy. Toddler girl is making lots of requests to play. Mommy encourages her to have quiet time in her room but for some reason Mr. Poopie attempts to make an appearance right around this time. Will a mother ever get to sit down?
Finally a moment of peace. A Moment of free time comes and goes. Oh, it is time for snacks. Yes, let's watch some "Baby Can Read" so mommy can wake up from the nap she never took.
Add a Target run or a short walk to the neighborhood playground.
A bathroom break for mommy, when be careful, the unexpected is bound to happen (a later post shall explain.)
Oh My! Daddy is home! Another adult to talk to!
Have kids greet Daddy in Greek! It makes his day.
Repeat the cycle for Dinner! YAY! Family dinner time is one of Mommy's favorite times of the day!
Clean up a big mess while Daddy plays with kids OR while daddy cleans mess and mommy lays down. Daddy is awesome like that!
Perhaps a stroll to the park or just stay at home playing with kids as a family.
Bath time, Reading time, Bed time!
Mommy and Daddy perform the famous tucking in. Mommy can hear the hallelujah chorus as the children finally drift off to wonderland.
8:00P.M. Mommy looks at a monstrous pile of laundry that gnarls at her from across the family room, but she cannot fathom folding anything right now. She cannot fathom doing anything at all. Mommy is comatose. Daddy is comatose too.
11:00 P.M. And the pedometer reads: 14,881 steps and 7.03 Miles. SEVEN MILES! What, what! Seven Miles! That's a whole lot of walking in diapers, potty training, and mommyland for one day. I've done this now for three consecutive days, nothing out of the ordinary. They are all reading just shy of 15,000 steps! Wow! No wonder this mother be-ith tired.
Working Moms: Aside from working at home in the evenings, I work as a copywriter at the office two days a week. On those days, even though I sit mostly at work in front of a computer writing, it is the hours before and after work that I am pressured to get even more done than a typical day because of all the required preparations for two kids and the house. Thus, today, for example, a day in the office the pedometer read 9,303 steps and 4.39 miles. So working moms, you too should pat yourself on the back cause not only are you working hard all day, but you are getting extreme amount of steps before and after work to do the juggling act you do.
And now, I am reminded of my Italian Grandmother, who after a long day working and then pruning the rose bushes, would collapse in the recliner and gasp a loud bellowing cry, "E'MADONE (that's Italian for Oh, Mother of God) I'M-A DEAD-A!" Yes, dead is how I feel too, Grandma. Good thing like-it-or-not, resurrection comes in the morning.
Please keep the votes coming! You can vote 1x per day by clicking right to this post. We are almost ranked in the top 25 over all in the top mommy blogs and are the #2 humor blog.
Posted by Laura
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